The Story of Jonah -- Are You Kidding Me?

Everyone has heard stories that begin with the words "a long time ago" or "once upon a time".  But the story of Jonah, found in the Old Testament, really took place a very long time ago!  Jonah lived in the northern kingdom of Israel in a town named Gath-hepher.  People who study history and know their dates say that Jonah lived around 750 BC.

What does the Bible tell us about Jonah's home-life?  Almost nothing.  We know his father was Amitta.  What was the name of his mother?  Did he have any brothers and sisters?  We just don't know since that isn't told to us in the book of Jonah.

Did his family farm?  Did Jonah work the grape harvest and then make wine?  Again, we don't really have an answer to that.  Jonah's home village of Gath-hepher was a little over ten miles from the Sea of Galilee.  It is possible, from time to time, that Jonah fished for some food for his family.

The Bible also doesn't tell us much about Jonah's calling to Nineveh.  But, what if Jonah hated to go fishing?  Hated fish!  What if he hated everything to do with them?  If God has a sense of humor, and many people thing He does, it would have been an excellent time to call his prophet.

The story could have gone like this.

"Jonah!"

"Who's that?" he thought.  "This is a tiny boat.  There is no room for anyone to hide here.  It must have been a bird or something."

But, he heard the voice again.  "Jonah!"

"What's going on?" he cried.  "Where's that voice coming from?  Who called out my name?"

"Jonah, it is I, the Lord your God."

"Seriously, who called out my name?" he cried.

"It is I, the Lord your God."

"The Lord God?  Now, why would you be speaking to me?"

"I have a job for you."

Jonah looked up into the sky.  A ray of light peaked out from the clouds and danced upon the water.  He asked, "Just exactly what kind of job are you talking about?" 

"Jonah, I want you to be my prophet.  I want you to call sinners to repentance."

"Are you kidding me?" Jonah cried.  "Me, a prophet?  Aren't there enough of those in Israel?  Why would You need me as a prophet?"

"I'm not sending you to Israel," the Lord replied.

"Okay, Judah?"

"No."

"Then, where do you want me to go?" Jonah asked.

"Nineveh."

"Seriously?  Nineveh?  Are you kidding me, God?  I hate the Assyrians!  Hate them!  I'm not going to Nineveh.  End of discussion."

It's very clear in the Bible that Jonah was a man a little on the stubborn side of things.  If Jonah ever told God that it was the end of the discussion, it most certainly was the way he felt.

The Assyrians, who lived in Nineveh, were mighty and merciless warriors.  And, they were not the friendliest neighbors Israel could have asked for.  As far as Jonah was concerned, this conversation was over.  He wasn't going to preach to them.

But, the Lord was not finished with Jonah.  The conversation was far from over.

It's safe to guess that Jonah didn't sleep well after the Lord God called him to Nineveh.  Who would be able to sleep?  He decided the best thing to do was run away from the Lord.  Jonah really didn't know where he was going.  It just had to be as far as possible away from Nineveh as he could get.

Jonah found his way to the port of Joppa.  He didn't care what direction he went, as long as it was far from Nineveh.  And, on this day, there was a boat headed to Tarshish.  Where exactly is Tarshish?  Today, nobody knows for sure.  But, it wasn't close to Nineveh.  Jonah climbed into the boat and sailed away from the coast of Israel, satisfied that he successfully escaped from God.  After all, he wasn't going to go help the Assyrians!

But, is it possible to hide from God? 

The Lord God, who created the land and seas, knew exactly where Jonah was.  So, he stirred up a great wind and storm.

"Where did this storm come from?" cried one of the sailors. 

"The skies were blue and the sea was calm," replied the captain, "and then, suddenly, it's like we are under attack."

"And, it's getting worse!" another sailor cried out over the winds.

In order to keep the boat afloat, the captain decided that they would have to cast their cargo overboard.  It didn't help at all.  The storm continued to rage.

As the captain search below the deck, he found Jonah curled up, fast asleep.

"Are you kidding me?" he cried.  "We're all about to die, and here you are sound asleep!  Get up and pray that we might be rescued."

Jonah joined the crew and captain in prayer, but the storm continued.  Finally, one of the men suggested that they cast lots to see who was to blame for this storm.  Someone did something very wrong.  Who was it?

The lot fell on Jonah.

"Who are you?" cried the captain.  "What have you done to us, and why are you here?

"I'm a prophet of the Lord, the God of Israel," Jonah confessed. 

"But, that doesn't explain this storm!" one of the sailors pointed out.

"Well, He kind of wants me to do something that I don't want to do.  So, I decided to run away."

"Are you kidding me?" cried the captain.  "Are you seriously trying to run away from the true and living God?"

"Well, I don't seem to be doing a very good job at it," admitted Jonah.

"No, you aren't!" the captain agreed.  "And, so what do you think we must do to get us out of this mess?  If you don't have an answer, we're all about to die!"

"Oh, I know what you need to do, but I don't really like it.  You have to throw me overboard.  As soon as you are rid of me, the storm will stop."

"We can't do that!" the sailors cried.  So instead, they tried to row back to shore.  But, the storm raged even wilder, and the boat was tossed about.  Eventually, the men realized that they had no choice.  Jonah needed to be tossed into the sea, into the hands of the Lord, his God.

So, that is just what the sailors did.  And, the moment that Jonah disappeared under the raging waters, the winds calmed.  The sky turned blue, and the waves settled down. 

"Only the Lord God of Israel can do this," the captain said.  "We must offer a sacrifice to Him for sparing our lives.

Meanwhile, Jonah slipped deeper and deeper under the water.  A shadow passed over him and he looked up to see a giant fish.  It opened its mouth wide and swallowed him.

Jonah realized very quickly what he already knew.  You can't hide from God, no matter how far you go or how hard you try.  It didn't really matter if he hated fish or not.  Most certainly, he hated being in the belly of this creature.

From deep back in the fish's mouth, Jonah cried out to the Lord.  He might have said, "Are You kidding me, God?  You used a fish to rescue me!  You know I hate fish!"  But, for sure, Jonah prayed to the Lord God for help.'

Jonah remained inside the great fish for three days and three nights.  Perhaps he was all cozy and warm.  For certain, he was all wet and slippery.  Eventually, God's prophet cried out, "Okay!  Okay!  If You free me from this fish, I will go to Nineveh and be Your prophet.  I will preach to those people who I hate."  It would have been so much easier on him if he had just done that from the start.

On the third day, the giant fish spit Jonah up on the beach.  Just like anyone in these circumstances, he must have thought, "Are you kidding me?  I thought the smell of fish was bad, but fish vomit is the worst!" 

How long would you stay in the water to wash off fish vomit? 

Once on shore, God spoke to Jonah a second time and said, "Go, now, to Nineveh and declare the message that I have given you." 

Jonah knew better than to argue any more.  Like it or not, he headed to the great city of the Assyrians.  The capital was so large that it took three days to cross it.  He might have been tempted to mumble, but Jonah cried out, "Repent!  If you don't change your ways, the Lord God will overthrow you in forty days."

There were no soap boxes to stand on back in Jonah's day.  Sad to say, nobody had invented any microphones either.  Jonah picked a street corner in the middle of the city and shouted, "Repent!  You have forty days or else God will destroy your city.  Repent!"

He didn't have to shout from the rooftops.  The hearts of the people of the city were ready for the words of warning from God.  Men, women, from the oldest to the youngest, all of the people of Nineveh listened to the words of Jonah.   No one asked, "Are you kidding me?" 

No, the people of Nineveh heard the word of the Lord and believed the warning.  They knew it was a message from God, and they repented.

More crowds came.

And, the word spread! 

It reached the king and he wanted to hear Jonah's words of warning.  And when he did, the king took off his robes and sat in sackcloth and ashes.  Then, he declared, "By my royal decree, all people and animals must put on sackcloth.  Everyone, all man and beasts, will fast.  Nobody shall have food or drink.  Instead, everyone must call upon the Lord God and ask forgiveness.  Perhaps, if He is merciful, the Lord God will spare us and we will not all die."

You may think it's funny to see animals in sackcloth.  But, everyone in Nineveh repented, and they wanted God to know how serious they were.  So, every man, woman, child, goat, donkey, and beast wore sackcloth and prayed to God.  Well, at least the men, women, and children prayed.

The Lord God heard their prayers and saw that they had turned from their evil ways.  He did not bring on the destruction that was promised.  Everyone listened to Jonah's warning and was saved.

But, none of this made Jonah happy.  No, not one little bit!  He stormed out, east of the city, to wait and see what would happen next.  "Are you kidding me, God?"  Jonah cried. 

"This is exactly what I feared you would do.  It's why I headed to Tarshish in the first place.  I knew what you would do if the people repented.  You are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and a God who may choose to not send a disaster -- even on the Assyrians -- if they call upon you.  Just kill me now, God.  Just end my misery.  I can't take any more of this!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" demanded the Lord God.  "Nobody has even once complained that I was too gracious and compassionate or abounding in too much love!  Not once!  Never in human history!"

"I understand all that, but you're showing it to the Assyrians!  I don't like them.  They don't like me."

"They listened to you when you told them about my judgment.  Jonah, you grew up in Israel.  For your entire life, your parents taught you my ways and you listened.  You know I love your people.  But, I also love the people of Nineveh.  They are so lost that they can't tell their right hand from their left.  It's one hundred twenty thousand people in need.  And, you helped me reach them."

"I guess when you put it like that, it's a pretty good thing," Jonah admitted.  "And, I'm not kidding you."